We as humans are bound to some kind of suffering, our existence is constantly shaking us, even some of the most stoic people will have these ups and downs that pretty much means being a living human. Lately I found myself a bit more aware of those moments and I am trying my best to understand how I can navigate life, having some kind of simple rules like commandments. The other day while struggling with the day, I was either very tired, overwhelmed, or both, and I noticed anchors that appear to be useful. First awareness, that is the main layer, having the tools to simply observe our present moment. On top of that we can build some of the others. Feeling the feelings, stop running away with distractions that keep pulling you away from a possible solution. I also felt some kind of sense of purpose. Despite suffering or sadness, there are things that you can do and enjoy, bringing a healthy distraction from your feelings. This purpose is not there for you to run away but simply to remind you that you still can serve the world. I will add a fourth element to this, people, the friends that just hug you perfectly and the other that you just need to stay away from.
Awareness seems to be the main character of most of my writing, without it I wouldn’t even be able to dump my thoughts into this screen. Stopping for a second and putting all your attention on what you are reading now, where you can allow yourself not just to be, but to be present, where you learn to see yourself and accept the suffering or the joy that is in you, without trying to run away, without trying to be somewhere else, just being there experiencing the you in you. You might perceive it as thoughts or strong feelings, or just the cold on your bare hand when walking outside. Learning to be and appreciate now, helps us to be there… Alive. Being what we are without running away from what we are going through, even in the busiest times, is full of life. Awareness is a practice, it is an everyday thing, it is reading a book and losing yourself in the story, a moment that you spend being a god that lives the story from the reader’s perspective, for me it is laughing and connecting dots when I am teaching. Learning to stay where you are without running, some go to the gym, some meditate, some people dance, I like to do them all. I am doing my best to stay here writing every word but I do not run away. Because I did not choose the best chair to write today, I will probably change seats after this paragraph, but I am aware, and awareness can enlighten solutions to your feelings and what you are experiencing right now. Ok, I am changing seats.
Awareness brings all the other points home, feeling your feelings. Sadness attacks at any point, being able just to let them overtake you allows a beautiful healthy relief, not a venting feeling. Feeling the pain in your belly, feeling the love in your heart. Being able to accept that your being is scared, frustrated or excited, and then accepting your reality, you can do whatever you feel is right for that moment. I am an expert in over-committing at the moment, to the point that this hour of writing feels like it shouldn’t be here, so all the areas that surround my heart are sensitive, like someone that is trapped and feels like the walls are getting closer and closer. I keep writing, and I remind myself that it is ok, this is who we are. I try my best to bring warmth to my present moment. It feels like a kind hug to myself, it feels like my mum embracing me like she always does, not knowing how valuable those moments are for my soul. That makes my eyes watery in a second, because I can’t have those hugs, but I am here and I remember how much I love her, and I would love to at least send a message after and tell her how much I love her. Feeling the feelings is scary but It can also take you to beautiful places that you clearly need.
I need to take a few deep breaths before going to the next paragraph, once again gracias for reading. I am this guy as much as the dancer.
Purpose, we all have certains goals, aspirations, ideas of what we want or what we enjoy. Just things we would like to do, and we are aware that life does not wait for you, you have to go with life towards what you want. The options are endless. For some people it will be going to a dance class to allow their soul to shake it off, shake it off. Not as a way of running away but on the other side to connect to themselves. You are alive, maybe sad but still alive, you love what you love and investing time in them will remind you who you are and what you want to do. I have seen a lot of people crying for different reasons in my classes. I do not judge those moments, I try not to diminish their feelings, I try to do what I do to myself when I am like that, I stop, give myself a big hug, and cry a little, and if it is possible bring myself back to dance. Purpose is another way not to run but to connect to you. To your inner child or to the curious being that wants to explore the world.
Hopeful while doing that you will be with people that love you and are there to accept and help you to embrace those feelings. Remember what would you do if a friend is suffering, I will just be there, I will try to embody my mum and give the best, and kindest hug I could… if the storm is already here, hopefully some of these lines can anchor you to your loving being.
Con Amor y Gracias for reading,
Pedro