Every moment of my day is full of decisions and activities, activities that in many ways fill my soul and time. Dancing is a happy place as well as teaching and organising and that is basically what I do every hour of every day. So it seems like I am super happy because those activities keep me consistently connected to the source, love the present moment.
It is true I am very pleased in those moments and I live very connectedly to my body and my being, yet, once I am out of the studio, my head starts developing more and more ideas, topics, conflicts and much more that can not be worked out through dancing or teaching. Feelings that need me to sit down, stop and pay attention. I think this is the thing that I procrastinate the most. I also procrastinate my mobility routine. I also want to meditate but I think that practice is kind of the same. Breathing and doing them is as simple as five to twenty minutes which can change my perspective of the day and give my nervous system a second to relax and stop all this stress I am in.
At the moment, they seem overwhelming, but I know I have the tools to stop and process my emotions. Journaling, welcoming conversations and feeling what I am feeling through meditation are practices that I manage to learn and slowly integrate into my life. Of course, they can be done in many ways I would like to focus on these three things that are vital for me: breathing, perspective and awareness.
Let’s have a look at the three points.
First breathing. I find it fascinating how powerful breathing can be. I use it in different scenarios, like just before any performance. I breathe quickly and deeply followed by breathing out all at once. This process brings a lot of oxygen to my body, creating a sense of alertness in my whole body. Yet before that, I use another technique that calms me down. I take a few minutes to slowly breathe in, and hold for the same amount of time, followed by an even longer breathing out. This idea is perfect to literally calm down. Sometimes I use breathing to get to sleep, breathe in for 4 beats, hold for 5 and exhale for longer than 6. Part of me feels that it does not work, probably because that part does not get noticed because I fall asleep.
Perspective is the second. For me it is not only where you see things from, it is also how you feel things, the underlying emotions that are changing your way of navigating life. When I remember I stand on the side of the stoics and two of my favourites are practising gratefulness and remembering what you can control. The first brings a sense of joy to my now, a lens of bliss that helps me to navigate better a given circumstance, the second reminds us that we can accept things as they are. It also reminds us in part that we are limited beings and is better to be aware. This consciousness of what we are going through as well as breathing and perspective are practices that I have kept as a part of my life and that I try to bring to my life as much as I can remember. I forget sometimes though.
Awareness is especially challenging because I think the main struggle is that we have it all, we have too much of everything. We have a computer capable of overwhelming any brain, so much information is coming to us that we forget that digesting is important. We stop eating when we are full because our body is physically incapable of ingesting anything else, yet our brains are not prepared to stop scrolling. These are two of the practices that are important for me and when I do them I feel better. Respecting my bed. The bed is for sleep and for sex and maybe to put on some clothes to help me decide what to wear. Something else that I like is to leave my phone with no battery outside my room, I charge it afterwards because my morning flows better and is more productive when I do not use my phone.
…so much information is coming to us that we forget that digesting is important.
Awareness is something that I love working on because when I achieve it I feel like I move forward towards my goals and dreams. In a more practical way, I have been working with an assistant for a few months now, and I am super excited by how much I am capable of doing. Yet it is crazy how much pressure I put on myself unnecessarily. This happens because I could not see a lot of what is in front of me but lately, I am more aware of the scope of what I am actually doing and wow… I need to drop some things, simplify others and plan most things better. Being aware of what I am doing is beautiful and complex, and makes my journey much more clear.
Yes, all these practices are great, with emphasis on the work practice please, but what I want the most is to create space to feel, which I like to believe I do, but lately I don’t do enough, you know I am busy (sarcasm). So busy that I am losing the joy of what I know I love, simply because I do not take time to sit down for a couple of minutes sometimes. This is the practice that I know makes me feel calmer and motivates me to thrive in life.
Opening time to write for me or for others, and creating spaces to communicate, always gives me a sense of peace. Sitting down and talking to people about growth and what is happening is a simple call to my brothers. Going out to dance, outside my teaching to connect to people through movement. One of my favourite dancing moments was not in a competition or in a huge event in front of thousands of people, it was probably on the dance floor with you, no I am lying, it was with one of my aunties or my gramma or in that afro beats class the other day. How can I remember to do what I know is good for me? How can I focus on the practices that I really need? I think for the moment I need to remember to breathe, be more grateful and be more aware of the life I am living. Finding time and space to feel my feelings.
Gracias,
Pedro