Paradoxes are everywhere. They are a humbling reality of what we experience in life. I am hungry but I don’t want to eat now, I want to wake up early but I want to sleep in and now I want to eat but I am not hungry. Inside my head, I find that I am in a constant battle between sides of me. There is a Pedro who wants to go to the gym, a Pedro who wants to work, and the one who wants to rest and say hello and they all represent real, well-thought-out points of view.
Often, I spend so much time giving space to all of the Pedros to communicate, that we end up doing nothing of what we wanted to do. I think we all have these apparently disjointed ideas, and allowing them to run wild without any concern can be a bit overwhelming for us, for all of us. On one hand, it is a bit confronting to realise that we are paradoxical beings. I did not know years ago that this was possible, I did not know how this human behaviour is in everyone. It is as simple as the pain when flexing at the gym or the tiredness after running a choreography. It might seem like something bad, but in reality, they are great for improving in the case of fitness and dancing. So juggling is not about interpreting the physical signs but in the way that we accept and navigate their consequences in our brains. Habits are key in my path to understanding my own limitations and they have been crucial in being more consistent with what I want to achieve.
Building habits is something that I have touched on many times in my blogs. I believe they are such an important part of my life from the way I teach, train and communicate about dancing and anything, actually. I believe in repetition because when you dance the brain wants to rationalise every movement, every action and interaction. When teaching dancing, I look for constant repetition, of course in a fun and safe environment. I have taught intro classes in so many different ways.
I believe in repetition because when you dance the brain wants to rationalise every movement, every action and interaction.
An intro class is the dance class that people come to, most of the time with no prior experience whatsoever. I start those classes by introducing myself and then I start moving in front of them and trying to show that moving is more important than understanding and it also requires more effort than understanding. Yes, the brain is trained to help but it is important to focus all its efforts on moving to the music. After 4 minutes I can bring almost anyone to dance Salsa or Bachata.
For me, that is mindblowing. So many people believe that they have two left feet and that they can’t dance and I see it 99% of the time after a 4-minute song. So maybe this idea of simply focusing on the motion, instead of only allowing space to the rational part of the brain, can be beneficial for anyone struggling to get things done. All those people in my classes did some important steps before they got to me, well maybe the partners did a lot of things. Researching, finding, booking and coming to the classes, they had the idea of trying something new.
I can see that for many of us, we have done enough to get us to the front door so let’s see how we can dance. How can we actually experience motion through the things we want to achieve, those things we are not sure we want?
Honestly, I don’t find extremes appealing these days, I like steadily changing and I like awareness and motion. I like to imagine snowballs, but before you roll it down the hill you need to roll it a little on a flat surface, it is not difficult but it requires action. It makes the paradoxes less obvious, It creates a nice balance so we can get in motion.
When I am writing an article, part of me says, how can we make it a book? This idea is great, we need to be expanding and then I say shut up and write. It is about writing about this idea, it is about finding space for us to do little steps. I started years ago writing just for myself, maybe a paragraph or two. Now I can sit down and write for hours. Most of the time my ideas make sense, so when I research and learn, I know that I have moved enough so I can understand like my students will understand after the first song when I explain to them that they just learnt the most important step to dance Salsa or Bachata.
So what is that minimal step that you can take today to go where you want to go? Maybe finding an expert is a good idea. If I want to lose weight and improve my health I think that the first step might be to see a nutritionist. In my case a sports nutritionist. Sometimes the expert could be a friend, he just needs to be one step ahead to help you. I will assume that some experts will take you step by step to a place that is beneficial for your improvement. If you want to dance you know where to find me.
Sometimes the expert could be a friend, he just needs to be one step ahead to help you.
Some of the most important things I do everyday start with a few minutes per day or per week. My mind is often standing on the opposite side of the conversation, but by the time they start, I am already doing the actions. I am still failing to not eat too much sugar, but what can I say, some sweets are just beautiful. That includes my favourite coffee, Soy Milk Mochaccino (Soy Mocha), but I no longer want it everyday. So I found some different options and there is one that I could love as much or something that could dethrone, Soy Mocha as my favourite coffee. Some people will say just stop coffee but that is a confronting reality for me. My coffee of choice is filtered coffee. Sadly most times I will order my sugary option. Yet. I try to have with me a good V60 style coffee maker, a fancy way to say filtered coffee. It took me a long time to love, it was very bitter at the beginning, not bitter like an espresso but still bitter, yet I connected the knowledge of the type of extraction with the reason for the smoothness in its flavour as well as some good memories about the aroma. Like it was the first smell everyday growing up at home. It was easy for me to step in slowly to love it. And today, it is my favourite coffee.
Despite the fact that the things we want are contradicting each other, we can allow ourselves to be a divided entity that can love both sides of the equation. But in reality, we humans are very limited so a lot of the things that we want to achieve contradict some other things. So, paradoxes are alive until we choose one option or not, which is another option, and one way to consistently work will be through small steps towards the things that you want to achieve. Sometimes the best way to solve this dilemma is to organise your environment and your body to be able to follow the teacher and the music that makes your body dance. Because in our brain, we want it all but in real life, we can only do so much. How interesting it is that we can have it all but only a few things or one at a time and life is in those that we choose.
So when confronted with the paradox of choice, remember to choose what you want and try. That is probably better than thinking about all of them and doing nothing. Someday I will have some great cakes and I hope instead of seeing it as the paradox of losing fat and being happy at that moment, I hope I can fully enjoy any option. Especially the one that I learn is best for me.